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Fritz: All Fritz
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EDUCMISC
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PARENTS.LZH
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DISPAR.TXT
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1986-12-25
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Focus on the need for @5 to respect and '
and admire @2 parents. '
'
'
Authority, in the family this is embodied in the'
primary caretakers, is what brings order to hu- '
man relationships. Respect is earned by effort '
and should be acted on as long as the parent is '
worthy of that respect. This position is gain- '
ed by showing righteous indignation when needed.'
'
MANAGING DISOBEDIENCE '
'
Someone has to know better for things to im- '
prove or for having the possibility of improving'
when you act on this knowledge. Parents can '
earn this respect by their wisdom - of knowing '
what is the best more often than not. '
'
Ask yourself: '
* Have I done anything to merit such treat-'
ment? '
* How can I communicate that I do not de- '
serve this treatment? '
* How can I demonstrate my wisdom and re- '
gain @2 respect? '
MANAGING DISOBEDIENCE '
'
Young children are often in awe of their care- '
taker and just as often predisposed to treat '
them as extentions of themselves that may not '
work right. By establishing your separateness '
while being willing to educate and share fosters'
the growth of a young child. '
'
Try: '
* Saying no in a firm, matter of fact manner '
to a @5 when @3 is disobedient. '
* Correcting the behavior in question gently '
and then suggesting @3 start over. '
* Continuing to interact patiently. '
MANAGING DISOBEDIENCE '
'
This is age in which the wisdom of youth is '
equal to the wisdom of age or at least the '
children would have us think. Taking the '
attitude of as much amusement as possible will '
help lighten the mood and demonstrate your '
maturity. '
'
Try: '
* Acknowledging @5's opinions and '
feelings without feeling required to give '
in to them. '
* Distracting and refocusing @1 . '
* Entering in without giving in. '
MANAGING DISOBEDIENCE '
'
Children of this age group like to reaffirm '
their relationships with their parents. Often '
this reaffirmation takes the form of testing '
the parent's response to rebellion. Taking a '
predictable and firm stand without being puni- '
tive is the best way to address this issue. '
'
Try: '
* Waiting for @5 to approach you '
with the rebellious behavior. '
* Accepting it as matter of fact and then '
reacting in the way that @5 expects '
you to react. '
MANAGING DISOBEDIENCE '
'
Pre-adolescents would like to reject their par- '
ents without risking the loss of love. Accept '
me any way I am seems to be the goal at times. '
Communicating that acceptance while disapproving'
of the behavior and refusing to tolerate it is a'
worthy goal in this case. '
'
Try: '
* Focusing on the behavior of your child '
rather than on the child. '
* Pointing out clearly the behavior that you '
object to and will punish. '
* Responding warmly if the behavior changes. '
MANAGING DISOBEDIENCE '
'
Adolescents look for respect and are willing to '
return to those they feel respect them. Re- '
bellion is often a bid for respect and caring '
even though it seems a strange way of going '
about it. '
'
Try: '
* Demanding respect from @5 and re- '
fusing to tolerate any sign of disrespect. '
* Failing to return repsect if you fail to '
receive it. '
* Showing a willingness to show respect when '
it is first forthcoming. '
'
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